What I learnt in 2019
I have been on vacation in the last couple of weeks and have had time to reflect on 2019. I started this blog with my first post on aging. So, do not be surprised if it turns out that I dwell too much on aging in this article. I have never put pen to paper or in this case put up a write up on my lessons from a previous year. I guess I was just so young (not in age but in mind) that I feared it could never be good enough for anyone. I usually reflect on the lessons but this is the first time I am putting it to a readable form. I was just so young that shyness made me not pass this message to others. Boldness is not engraved in anyone’s DNA but my young mind refused to capture that and punished myself to just only think it through. So, here I am today putting these words down and hopefully they get on marble.
I realize that the first thing I learnt from 2019 is the boldness to put my thoughts and beliefs down. I got the inspiration from someone younger than I am. I will not hesitate to give her a shout-out. Simple Naija girl (Abishola Shof) did it for me and you can follow her on Instagram; @abisholahof; I love her style and it awakened my confidence. I suddenly became bold enough to put down my thoughts published my first article on aging when I started this blog. When I read my article on aging today, I realize that my style of writing that article was not me exactly but was the young me that looked for approval from others. The me that felt if I write in my own way, the words may just not churn out write. The me that literally scanned peoples eyes for approval even when their mouth express kind words. This was just not clever of me, right? Yes, I know but hey, I made progress….I started to write.
Now I know that my saying “things can go wrong but not to me” was just a part of my youthful fantasies. Surely, good things happen to everyone and bad things can also happen to everyone including my loved ones and I. Knowing this makes me feel like I am getting older, like really older…not the sage kind but I mean I feel like I am out of the youthful cloud where bubbles could surround me and lift me out of worries and anxieties because I know “things can go wrong but not to me”. No one on earth is immune from bad things but we can condition how to respond. In 2019, I learnt to smile and stay happy despite the bad things.
I realize that the vibes I sometimes get from people that I interpret as “hating for no reason” may just be envying me instead. I learn from this never to respond in anger to any perceived undesirable attitude. That saying (by my humble self) that “an action generates and equal reaction” may just pan out wrong as a reaction to my anger could be more anger. I mean, it may just be more sensible to react equally to their vibes but at what cost is that? So what do I do instead, I just pity them. When I pity people who demonstrate negative emotions or attitudes to me, I succeed to treat them differently. I sleep beautifully while they stay awake to ponder on my reaction.
Learning about friendships too has just been awesome. A true friend is one who will not go against you in public or take your gist to the public domain. A true friend definitely is not afraid to clap back at your haters in public domain and chastise you privately. And finally should not troll. If you have one keep them but if they fail to meet your definition of friendship then you can simply “ghost zone” them while wishing them well in all of life travails. You see why I bring aging back. So many learnt this point at quite a young age but here I am in this modern day, in these times of calling the world a global village and I am only just learning this. I will not have friends that will call me out in the public court. According to my countryman; “mbanu”!!! Please, clap for me because 2019 has been an aging year. I cleared my radar of people with negative energy. As at these last hours, I no longer have subscription fee on such friendships.
On my fifth point, I am not perfect at all. I am not an island at all. I do not know it all at all,at all. And to forge forward, I do not know what inspired it or how I learnt this skill this year but now I listen more. Maybe because I have set my mind to walk through any doors and be ready to go wherever it leads. I matured this 2019. My mind matured.
In all, i am honestly grateful for the all round increase no matter how little it may seem. I increased intellectually (research got published and this blog became active), socially (you became a reader here), physically (using Òmá Essentials skincare products aged me backwards), financially (even though the account balance did not increase) and spiritually (devotions were taken seriously). I look forward to a better 20202 despite all these and pray earnestly for a bigger me in 2020.